Ladies rejoice, it’s that wonderful time of year again. It’s almost Fall and time to hit the shops for your new Premier League blouse! We review each club and let you know which beautiful blouse you should be donning this season.

Arsenal

Home – A classic design. Arsenal fans will be slipping into this little number like it’s their favourite little black dress. The ruby red will really help bring out the colour in your complexion. 

Away – A train wreck of a blouse. The yellow is so 1996. Do yourself a favour ladies and avoid this blouse like the plague!
 

Aston Villa

Away – Dull, dull, dull. Where is the inspiration? This is a blouse for the plain Janes out there. You could accessorize with a scarf or jewellery, but, like Amanda Holden making another trip to the botox clinic – you’ll be fighting a losing battle. 
 

Birmingham City

Home – Chosen by the fashionistas of Brum from a selection of designs. Made by Chinese fashion house Xtep. Who on earth are they? This blouse is no Chanel, that’s for sure. Well, at least they’ll like it…Those West Midlands girls have made their ugly bed, now they’ll have to lie in it. 
 

Blackburn Rovers

Home – This is so 2009. Your girlfriends will think you’re wearing last season’s blouse. The retro-chic of Umbro’s other designs is nowhere to be seen. The ladies of Lancashire have been left in the dark. 
 

Away – Wow! That’s a lot of colour. That garish red is sure to clash with the famous Blackburn perma-tan. With that, and the Umbro mark, you could be forgiven for thinking you’d wandered into the red side of Manchester in the late 90’s. 
 

Blackpool

Home – Tangerine? Unless you’re from the Netherlands, das ist a nicht-nicht. 
 

Bolton Wanderers

Home – Reebok. What a tired old fashion house. Taking the girls of Bolton back to the sartorial doldrums of the early 90’s. Perhaps that’s what they like? This blouse just shouts ‘chav, chav, chav’. 
 

Chelsea

Home – This is a classy piece of clothing. Definitely one to be seen out and about in. The svelte fit really brings out the best in those girls who’ve got it, highlighting those sexy curves. The flash of red around the neckline draws the eye away from the hips – ideal for big, beautiful girls – but perhaps go for the larger sizes. 
 

Away – Fluorescent orange? This is fashion suicide. Unless you’re planning on being seen on a building site, give this one a miss. 
 

Everton

Home – Le Coq Sportif – a little-known offshoot of the Yves-Saint-Laurent fashion house – have produced a sexy little gem of a blouse. Simple and stylish, it hugs in all the right places. The lads of Liverpool will be gravitating toward Goodison Park before you know it. 
 

Away – All of Le Coq’s hard work has been undone with this minger of a blouse. Loud, brash and naff – this monstrosity evokes memories of Jade Goody – God rest her chavvy soul. 
 

Fulham

Home – Just as Fulham go up in the football world, they go down in the fashion stakes. Trading in Nike for Kappa is swapping your Luis-Vuitton purse for a Sainsbury’s bag. Another thing, girls – don’t get caught in the rain in this blouse – there won’t be a lot left to the imagination! 
 

Newcastle United

Home – Black and white stripes? Geordie lasses don’t want to look like convicts! Tradition is one thing, but it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. 
 

Liverpool

Home – Adidas have really let themselves down with this effort. Chequered nylon fabric is so 70’s. This looks like something that Del Boy and Rodney might sell out the back of their van. Avoid at all costs, ladies! 
 

Away – There’s a hint of 80’s power dressing about this delightful little number. The red pinstripe says ‘I’m here, I know what I want, and I mean business!’ – lads will be falling at your feet. You go, girl! 
 

Manchester City

Away – Umbro is the fashion house everyone is talking about at the moment. Their stylish designs are setting the fashion world on fire. This sexy chemise let’s your body do the talking. The cut is perfect and will make you look like a Mancunian goddess. 
 

Manchester United

Home – An unashamedly feminine oversize collar really sets off this pretty blouse. The simple retro styling means this can be a staple item of your wardrobe – suitable for any occasion. 
 

Away – The considered feminine styling of the home blouse is nowhere to be found here. This is a nylon debacle, suitable only for the beer-drinking Neanderthals down the local. 
 

Stoke City

Home – A dangerously plunging neckline means this blouse is best kept for nights out on the town. Hello boys! 
 

Sunderland

Home – The retro styling, coupled with the red and white stripes bring to mind a 1920’s cotton bathing costume. Unfortunately, unless you’re planning on taking a dip after the shopping run, it’s probably best to give this old-fashioned blouse a miss. 
 

Tottenham Hotspur

Home – A delicately composed blouse and quality item. Puma is a fashion house really coming back into form in recent years. The simple use of colour in this chemise is pleasing to the eye, and really helps bring out your complexion. 
 

West Brom

Home – Another retro offering from the Umbro fashion house. Like Newcastle, tradition wins out here, but seriously – what sexy young fashionista wants to hit the town looking like a sailor? Blue and white stripes are a fashion disaster! 
 

West Ham

Home – Like Manchester, West Ham have gone for a very feminine collar. This blouse is one for the larger lady due to its generous fit. Perhaps the girls of East London ought to lay off those Pukka pies… 
 

Away – Another nylon eyesore from the unknown fashion house Macron. Again, this is a generous fit for the big-boned babes out there, but the horizontal stripes are going to do them no favours. 
 

Wigan

Home – Who are MIFIT? The ladies of Wigan won’t want to venture out of the house in a blouse designed by such a subsidiary fashion house – how embarrassing. 
 

Wolves

Home – Another retro offering. Like West Ham’s collection, this has a very generous fit. Unless you buy two sizes down, you won’t be turning any heads in this tent of a blouse. The colour is garish, old-fashioned, and can best be described as looking like throw-up. Yucky!